17th Time's a Charm
by Dante Vangrave
Summary: Time Travel: Dull violet eyes observed the scene before him. His mother was dead, and underneath her laid his shaking sister; both were drenched in blood. Ten year old Lelouch vi Britannia then announced, "I'm going back to bed." ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

The Seventeenth Time's a Charm

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Lelouch vi Britannia opened his eyes, took in the surroundings of his old room in the Aries Villa, blinked twice, and said one distinct word.

"Fuck."

He groaned and slid off his bed, absently noting the time to be 6:43 AM. Padding over to his closet, he plucked a random selection of clothing out, scowling when he remembered his mother liked to dress him in frills. He sighed and vowed to get some less frilly clothing some time soon.

After quickly shirking his selections on, he stealthily slid down to the kitchens. He looked over around, and luckily nobody was awake yet. He made himself a turkey sandwich and some chocolate milk – the latter being a secret addiction of his.

'So,' Lelouch thought to himself somewhat irritably, 'this is, what, attempt number seventeen so far, huh. But this is definitely quite the change of scenery…'

There was one thing to make a note of, if one were observing the raven-haired youth. He thought and moved far more gracefully than any ten-year-old would or should, even within his table manners. This, perhaps, was because Lelouch vi Britannia found himself in quite an odd predicament.

He had a tendency to repeat history, quite literally.

When he had first been killed by Suzaku, those many mental years ago, he _had_ died. Immediately afterwards, he found himself back on that fateful day when he had met C.C. received his Geass. Initially, he had thought he was merely reliving his memories as he died, but then Lelouch had been too shocked by the situation and had died _again_ when the head officer shot him after he did nothing. That had resulted in him 're-spawning' and then using his Geass to kill them.

After that second attempt, he had finally reached his dream of uniting the world in peace.

And then he died again after an anti-Britannian cultist shot him during a speech. So he started over again. And again and again.

Despite his many attempts, and no matter what he did, he always ended up back in that low-lit, bloody warehouse about to die with C.C. laying at his feet.

This seventeenth redo was perhaps the most interesting so far because he had appeared at the beginning. But he was tired, at this point.

Seeing everything he had accomplished only to be done away by some mystical process that left only him remembering and everyone else forgetting left him terribly upset. It could be likened to a gamer finally beating a long video game, only for the power to go off and realizing that he didn't save the game. Frustrating, indeed.

Lelouch pondered this conundrum with a bored expression upon his seemingly youthful face.

"This sucks," he summed up aloud eloquently.

He then heard the door creek open behind him.

"M-My Prince!" One of the guards had found him, then. "I-It's terrible! In the main hall! Her Majesty Lady Marianne…!"

The violet-eyed man in a boy's body slid out of his chair and gestured for the guard to lead him, the bored expression never leaving his face.

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

Cornelia li Britannia could only stare in shock and horror as she viewed the cold corpse of her longtime idol and stepmother, Marianne vi Britannia. Underneath her was the shaking form of Nunally, her younger step-sister. The poor girl was hyperventilating; her eyes were wide open in fear as the six-year old lay in the pool of her mother's blood.

The purple haired twenty year old clenched her fists in a silent rage. "Guards! Examine every inch of the palace! I want the assassin found, and I want him in chains YESTERDAY!" she bellowed angrily.

"Yes, Your Highness!" they shouted and grimly began their search of the grounds.

Cornelia nodded and turned back to the gruesome scene. She pointed at a young blue-haired guard who had straggled behind. "You! What's your name?" she demanded.

The guard gulped and fearfully replied, "J-Jeremiah Gottwald! Your Majesty!"

She eyed him for a full minute, making him squirm in place. She nodded towards the body and her younger sister. "Remove Princess Nunally and have her taken into intensive care."

Jeremiah nodded quickly and set about his grim task.

Before he could continue, another guard came in through the side doors, and stood straight before announcing, "His Royal Highness, Eleventh Prince Lelouch vi Britannia!"

The raven-haired youth entered the hall with an air of detachment.

Cornelia swallowed the bile rising in the back of her throat as she silently nodded to her brother, who nodded in return and strode forward to inspect the body of his mother while Jeremiah saluted them and set about his task gently.

Lelouch, for his part, continued to think, his mind not really on the scene before him. 'This is really starting to get on my nerves…' His eyes narrowed as he glared at the corpse of his mother. 'This woman…she ceased to be my mother the day she and Charles zi Britannia came up with that foolish plan…' He sighed tiredly. 'You know what? Fuck this. It's too early in the morning.'

Unbeknownst to him, Cornelia spotted the glare and hoped against hope that he would be level-headed about the murder. God knew what the boy would do, as he _was_ a prince and he _was_ technically pretty high in the chain of command.

Therefore, she was pretty surprised when all Lelouch did was yawn and head up the stairs.

"Lelouch!" she called, highly confused at his behavior. "Where are you going?"

He turned around slightly, violet eyes boring into her own lavender ones. "I'm going back to bed."

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**A/N:** Procrastinating while writing an English essay at 4AM equals this. *shrugs*


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow. I didn't think this would have been well-received, but that goes to show what I know.

Short chapter again.

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Lelouch hummed a bit as he lay on his bed, hands supporting his head on the pillow.

If he was truthful to himself – which, not to sound full of himself, he usually was – then he fully admitted to himself that he didn't really hold any more affection for his little sister than he did for the Emperor, or anybody else for that matter, anymore. It didn't matter how many repeats he went through, they all showed him the same thing.

Nunnally was far too naïve.

The world would not come together through diplomatic relations just because a select few wanted it to be, and besides, every other country had already expressed their profound and understandable hatred for Britannia. Thus, all roads had to lead to violence and war at some point in time because Britannia's actions had dictated it so.

"Lelouch…"

The Holy Britannian Empire was full of bigots and racism, usually to the extreme as in the case of the Pureblood Faction. Which was also something Lelouch had much familiarity with, being that his most loyal knight in many a repeat was Jeremiah Gottwald, aka Orange. Or the Knight of Orange, as he was so nicknamed several times.

Going back to Nunnally; he still loved his little sister. But he would never again see her on that pedestal he had several lifetimes ago.

Her naivety was a huge liability, for one thing. She had also never experience nor seen the hardships that he had seen, and he did not mean sight in the literal sense. One prime example would have to be the second Special Administrative Zone attempt, a memory that Lelouch clearly remembered, from his first 'life'.

"Lelouch."

A second check against her would definitely have to be that incident on the Damocles. Looking back now, Lelouch still hurt a tiny bit when he saw the utter hatred and contempt in her eyes when she opened them for the first time in eight years. She betrayed her own brother, who had practically raised her by himself, and felt no motivation to understand why he did what he did. All she could see was that he had turned into a monster that committed dastardly deeds of destruction and chaos, acting as the enemy of the world. That she did so only proved to Lelouch that she was too sheltered; that, he had to admit, was mainly his fault. It was sad that she redeemed herself, if only slightly, at the time of his 'first death'.

This time would be different, however. This time, she would have to grow up without the protection of her older brother.

And as much as he was tired of these seemingly endless repeats, being back at the start of it all had–

"LELOUCH!"

He was abruptly broken out of his mini-reverie as somebody called, or rather screamed, his name.

"Hmm…? Did you say something, Cornelia?"

The purpled haired woman bristled a little at her step-sibling's decidedly flippant, yet aloof tone of voice. She eyed the brunette not a little warily, trying to gauge his emotions, and somehow the ten year old had a poker face comparable to that of the Emperor.

"Why?" she blurted out, trying not to wince at how blunt she sounded.

She might have imagined it, but she thought she saw the corners of his lips twitch slightly. "Why what?" he asked innocently.

"Lelouch…" Cornelia started in a warning tone, "answer me. Why did you react like that, and practically in front of the entire royal guard at that?"

Lelouch stared at her as if _she_ were the one with two heads. "You mean this _isn't_ all just a bad dream?" Wide eyes seemed to add credibility to his assumed age.

At that admission, Cornelia felt a little guilty for laying it thick on the 'young boy'. Her eyes softened, and in a quieter voice, she replied, "No, I'm afraid not."

Lelouch's eyes widened further, and all he said was, "Oh."

Then he flipped over in the bed – facing away from her – and pulled the covers over himself.

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

"That – that insufferable little brat!"

Second Prince Schneizel el Britannia looked on, mostly in concern and very faint amusement, as Cornelia ranted on about how out of place Lelouch's reaction was to the death of his mother and the condition of his little sister. She paced back and forth on his monitor, in front of her camera, and then came to a stop to stare at him.

"…and then he shooed me out! Like I was some sort of servant or something! I'm telling you, brother, that there is something wrong with Lelouch!" she exclaimed, slamming her fist on her table and making the screen jitter a bit.

Schneizel sighed quietly, resting his chin on folded hands. "Cornelia," he muttered softly, "I'm sure that this is just his way of dealing with the trauma of that scene. He just needs some time alone."

Cornelia faltered at his words.

"Maybe… But, it's just the way he dealt with it…it made me so angry to see him acting so…" she struggled to find a word for it, "…so cold. I mean, Lady Marianne is…is dead, and poor Nunnally is in intensive care! He should act a bit more concerned with the matter of events, Schneizel!"

"He's ten years old, sister," Schneizel countered. "You should be at least glad he's coping in his own way, even if it is a little bit odd. Or would you rather have him do something stupid, such as demanding that His Majesty himself do something about the murder?"

That suggestion made Cornelia pale faster than he'd ever seen.

She slumped into her chair and raised a hand to her forehead. "I…honestly hadn't thought of it that way." She looked up and stared straight into his eyes. "I'll…we'll give him some time alone, then, as you suggested."

"It's for the best, sister," he offered, smiling reassuringly at her. "After all, we were children once too, remember? Like the incident with the–"

Cornelia immediately cut him off, blushing bright red. "SCHNEIZEL!" she screeched, her hair seemingly more poufy than normal. "We agreed never to speak of that again!"

They looked like polar opposites at that moment; he, ever the picture of calm, and she, clearly flustered and embarrassed.

"But–"

"Shush!"

He sighed. Women.

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**A/N:** Review away. Critique will potentially add to the story and flames will be used for marshmallows.

By the way, I've found that _Sailor Song_ by Regina Spektor is interesting to listen to as 'inspiration' of sorts if you want to put down/bash Marianne, and I point out the chorus in particular...


	3. Chapter 3

Jeremiah Gottwald was a self-made man.

…well, no, not really. But he liked to think of himself as one. The twenty-one year old had gotten to his current position on Lady Marianne's Royal Guard without any of his father, the Duke of Florida's influence – well, he sincerely hoped and believed that he did – and he prided himself on that fact.

And yet, that very thought brought his mood down; in his mind, he failed to uphold his duty in protecting Lady Marianne.

Thus, for the last three days following the shocking assassination of his Queen, he could be seen wandering around his patrol routes in a dazed state.

Hence, he blinked when he found that he had stopped automatically after feeling that he had knocked something over. Looking around, he saw nobody, but when he looked down, his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"P-Prince Lelouch!" he all but shrieked, helping the young boy up before kneeling low to the ground. "Forgive me, Your Highness! I-I was not paying attention to my surroundings and–!"

The young prince dismissed his apologies with a casual wave of his hand. "Don't worry about it," Lelouch spoke carelessly. "It was an honest mistake."

Jeremiah resisted the urge to openly gape at the young boy. Surely he didn't mean that? He had, after all, just knocked over the Eleventh Prince of the Empire!

But knowing better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, Jeremiah bowed deeply and stuttered out, "Th-Thank you for your mercy, Your Highness!"

"Think nothing of it," Lelouch said over his shoulder as he turned and walked away.

However, he paused after a few steps. "Actually…" He turned around. "You're Jeremiah Gottwald, am I correct? I could use your help with something."

Jeremiah's chest swelled with a bit of pride at the fact that the prince had known his name. Maybe this would be a turn of fortune after the past couple of days…?

"Yes, Your Highness," he replied, now standing at attention. "Anything you need."

Lelouch glanced over him, seemingly amused for some reason. "Good. Follow me." He turned and walked away, Jeremiah easily keeping up with his small stature.

After a few minutes, Jeremiah curiously asked, "If I may be so bold, may I ask – what exactly are we doing, Your Highness?"

The young and enigmatic prince smirked up at him. "We're going witch hunting."

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

Cornelia felt a shiver of apprehension run down her spine. And the troubling thing was that she was sure it had something to do with her younger brother, Lelouch.

That boy had been acting very strangely after the events of That Incident, no matter how much Schneizel tried to dissuade her from that idea two nights ago.

In fact, now that she thought of it, the previous night had also had a strange occurrence; Lady Marianne had called off _all_ of her Royal Guard, Cornelia herself included – she _was_ captain of the guard, after all.

But why had Her Majesty done so? It was a well known fact that none of the other Royal Consorts held any love for the vi Britannia line of the imperial family. Being of commoner blood, Her Majesty was held in disdain by most of the upper echelon of Britannian high society. That was why Lady Marianne's Royal Guard had been installed at the Aries Imperial Villa in the first place, especially after the incident with the Ganymede.

So to summarize things, as far as she knew, most of the other nobles and Royal Consorts had no positive interest in Lady Marianne, so perhaps the assassination was one of a political power coup…? Killing the Emperor's 'unofficial favorite' Royal Consort left a void that sought to be filled, and thus the others would all vie for that position; to gain favor with the emperor.

Although it was highly plausible, it was not exactly a wise idea to attempt to kill someone who had been a Knight of the Rounds.

Perhaps it was an outside party then? Britannia was not exactly popular with many of the other nations in the world at the moment, so could one of them have sent a team in to take out Marianne the Flash? The European Union most definitely had the motivation, as Lady Marianne in her younger years had clashed many-a-time with the various member-states of the EU enough to warrant an immediate kill-on-sight order.

To come all the way to the Britannia Capital City of Pendragon was a bit of a stretch, though, not to mention that it wasn't exactly feasible on the resources they had. In addition, if you wanted to assassinate someone in Pendragon, why only settle for a Royal Consort when the Emperor himself was just across the city?

Cornelia paled a little at where her train of thought had taken her and banished the idea rather quickly.

Just in time to jump, completely startled, when the door to her quarters in the Villa slammed open.

Lelouch darted inside and immediately ducked under her bed.

"What in blazes–!" Cornelia cried, practically leaping off of her seat in confusion.

Fast-paced footsteps arrested her attention as seconds later, a girl who looked to be no older than sixteen with long lime-green hair and piercing amber eyes skidded to a halt at her open door.

They stood, staring at each other for a full minute, as if in a two-person Mexican stand-off.

Then the younger girl snarled. "Where is that little brat?"

Cornelia narrowed her eyes. "You mean Lelouch? I'll allow no harm to come to my little brother!" she growled back, slowly reaching for her holstered pistol, kept on all times on her person. Lelouch, all odd behavior aside, was still her brother and family. And if there was one thing that Cornelia would die protecting, it was family.

"I don't care if he's the Emperor himself, I will not let his travesty go without punishment!" the clearly deranged girl roared, her eyes glinting maniacally, hands twitching as if she wanted to throttle something – or somebody, Cornelia thought grimly. "He will pay for destroying my Pizza!"

That last statement completely threw Cornelia off. "Your…pizza…?" she asked dumbly.

Almost as if a switch was flicked, the girl collapsed to her knees, fists pressed to her chest as a few tears – fake or not, Cornelia really couldn't tell – leaked from her eyes. "It was the best Pizza in the world…and he ruined it…" she sniffled sadly as an aura of gloom washed over the area.

Jeremiah Gottwald, of course, very much soured the mood as he stumbled into the room, breathing heavily as his own pistol dangled from his tired hand. "Your Highness…this girl…" he panted as he heaved in deep gulps of air. "She… chased… Prince Lelouch… so fast…" And then he fell over face-first, the last thought in his mind being that he really, _really_ needed to step up his training if that girl and a scrawny little boy, prince or not, could outrun him.

Cornelia snapped out of her stupor at that and whipped out her gun at the girl, who was now staring at her coldly.

"Go on, then. Kill me," she declared boldly in a much more mature voice than was expected of one her age.

The purple-haired princess flinched back slightly at her tone. "Who are you?" she demanded, covering up her hesitation.

That girl seemed amused at the question, rising back up despite the weapon trained directly at her head. "Who am I?" she mimicked, dusting her rather short skirt off. "I'm not sure. Who do you think I am?" she asked in return.

"You're not the one in charge here," Cornelia stated harshly, stalking up to the girl and pressing the gun into her forehead. A few strands of hair moved to reveal an odd-looking tattoo, but Cornelia paid it no mind. "And you just attempted to assault a member of the Imperial Family. So give me one reason not to kill you, right here, right now."

The girl smiled a little bit, only it didn't reach her eyes. "You can kill me, but it won't do you any good. I haven't been afraid to die in years," she admitted bitterly.

Cornelia frowned. "'In years'? Girl, you can't be older than sixteen. What do you know of death?" she scoffed.

Her prisoner's smile tightened. "Much more than you could ever imagine."

Neither of them had anything to say after that.

Until Lelouch struggled his way out from under the bed and ran out the door again, making sure to run over Jeremiah's head.

Both of them noticed that he was carrying something.

Something that was _very_ familiar to Cornelia.

Something that only her sister Euphemia and the dreaded Nonette Enneagram knew that she carried everywhere she went.

Swiftly holstering her pistol, Cornelia glanced back at her one-time prisoner with a certain gleam in her eye.

"So tell me," she said almost casually. "Why do you want to hurt my little brother again?"

"He destroyed my Pizza," the girl answered with that same gleam and a smirk as she realized what had happened.

Cornelia gestured towards the door. "Please, lead on."

Both of them sprinted out the door, neither of them noticing that they had just trampled on somebody.

A few minutes later, Jeremiah came to. Groggily, he staggered to his feet. "Why does it feel like I've been stampeded on by a herd of bulls…?" he muttered

His eyes shot open fully as he regarded the empty room. "What!" he shrieked girlishly. "Princess Cornelia! Prince Lelouch!"

Coming to the conclusion that, somehow, that green haired witch had kidnapped the two, Jeremiah sank to his knees in despair.

Looking to the heavens, he cried in anguish, "NOOOOO! I'VE FAILED!" He paused for a second and then hung his head. "AGAIN!"

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

Emperor Charles zi Britannia rested his cheek on his fist, eyes closed to the world as he sat at his desk.

"So it was successful then," he said to apparently thin air.

A young girl's voice answered him in a playful tone. "Why, of course, dear Charles! Would you doubt me?" the voice seemed to pout.

Charles chuckled lightly, eyes still closed. "Never, milady."

The voice joined him in chuckling. "Well, in my absence, it seems that little Lelouch is causing quite the ruckus, you know, especially for C.C and poor Cornelia."

He finally cracked an eye open. "Oh?" he asked, somewhat intrigued. His eleventh son had never shown any mischievous tendencies before. "Perhaps your 'death' has affected our son more than it appears."

"Nonsense," the voice chided him. "I overheard Schneizel and Cornelia talking, and they, like I, think that it is more of a coping mechanism."

Charles snorted but didn't acknowledge nor dismiss her belief. "Of course. It seems that I will be talking to him soon as well."

"Just be easy on him, Charles. He's just a boy."

Charles scowled and leaned forward on now tented hands. "Nobody is equal, Marianne. You, of all people, should understand that. This world we live in is harsh and cruel. If Lelouch cannot understand that, even at his age, then he is of no use to me and does not deserve to be a member of this family."

Marianne's voice sighed. "If that is your decision, then I will not go against it. We are doing this for a better world, after all."

"Yes," the Emperor of Britannia smiled darkly. "A better world indeed."

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**A/N:** Oh man, there was a fire right across the street from my house – it was my friend's backyard that caught on fire! There was a massive amount of smoke when I turned the corner on my street walking home from the bus stop, and six fire trucks were lined up in the street, with firemen dragging those long-ass hoses to the house.

It was pretty much over by the time I got there, but my dad told me that it was most likely some sort of 'petroleum combustion', which means that in other words a gas pipeline might have caught on fire somehow – he said that the smoke was thick black at first before becoming white. I'm just going with what he told me, because he was the one who saw all of it.

It's a good thing there's a fire house just down the street or it might've been really worse, but at least nobody got hurt. Damn if people aren't lucky nowadays; my friend just laughed the whole incident off the next day when some of our classmates asked her about it. I swear, she's so empty-headed (to the point that some asshole joked that _**she**_ was the one who set the fire)…

But that's old news (to me at any rate, and I didn't come to rant at anyone), so moving on – I really appreciate all the reviews from everyone!

There are several things I'd like to address to you readers and reviewers:

**1)** Despite (seemingly) popular belief, this is NOT Lelouch/Cornelia. Romance is _**not**_ my strength, and besides that, the only fic that I find that does that pairing even remote justice is _"The Goddess and the Demon"_ by CptnEdwards. If that's your thing, you should check it out. As for _**this**_ fic's pairings; well, we'll see how it goes first…

**2)** I realize that I've been putting off the 'long-awaited' confrontation between Lelouch and Charles, but mainly because I've really no idea how that'll pan out. It'll come, though, don't worry.

**3)** NO! Definitely not. Schneizel is not from the 'future' nor is he looping either. He was merely suggesting a worst case scenario there. Somebody insinuated that, so hope that clears things up for you. Lelouch is the only one who remembers anything from the previous loops.

**4)** C.C acted like that because…well, she's C.C, a woman of many faces. Cornelia's sort of OOC here too, but Lelouch _**did**_ steal something precious from her. Not to mention that she _**is**_ seven years younger here than in the main story, and much less serious and jaded.

**5)** I'm planning on changing the genre(s) to Humor/Drama or Humor/Adventure in the near future since that seems to be the reaction I'm getting. If you have beef with that, drop a review.

**6)** Final note: I'm trying to make these chapters longer, but I'm a bit pressed for time between my senior year at high school – so much _**damn**_ work! My AP English class especially! – dealing with college forms and my flustered mother, taking care of my little sister, long impromptu discussions on current affairs with my dad, catching up with my social life and old friends from grade school, and I also have a bit of writer's block that I'm still recovering from, so I do hope you'll keep on following me. Real life, as always, must come first.

…and now I feel like I'm on a mini-rant. Best stop here.

Anyway, please keep up the feedback and apologies for the really long Author's Note! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. I'll do my best to answer you.

Remember: Critique will potentially add to the story and flames will _**not**_ be used to set people's backyards on fire. Like I need to experience that scare again…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** As I'm typing this, it's May 21st – the so-called Doomsday. I just want you guys to know . . . I'm really high. No, seriously. I am.

Anyway, apologies for the massive delay and all that, but I did mention that (real) life's a bitch. I owe an apology to a certain reviewer – you should know who you are – because I promised this chapter nearly a month and a half ago. Also, I forgot who said it, but jello in my shoes would not be fun at all.

So here's the chapter, from Schneizel's POV. It's short, as usual, but my finals are here, and my hand – and my brain – hurts from writing all those damn essays. And there's still MORE next week! Gah!

Read and review while I go study! ...and possibly go hide under a rock or something...

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Schneizel was a tad worried. No, scratch that, he was practically outright _frowning_. Anyone under his command worth his salt knew that a frowning Schneizel was a bad omen, and thusly steered clear of the twenty-one year old Prime Minister's way.

After a flurry of meetings and debates over the past week, he had finally arrived in Pendragon after his administrative duties had been just about cleared in New York City, only to receive a message from His Majesty Emperor Charles; inform Lelouch that he intended to speak with him, soon. Why it had been Schneizel that had gotten the message, only the Emperor knew.

But honestly, Schneizel was more concerned for Lelouch. In his fleeting free time, his conversations with Cornelia had implicated that the whole business with Lady Marianne's assassination had left the boy more affected than he let on. Possibly, he was even becoming _unhinged_ in his mental state. In fact, during the last talk with his sister, she had confided in him that Lelouch had barely mentioned Nunnally, let alone make any attempts to visit her in the hospital. This went well against the norm for the young lad, as he and his only full-blooded sibling had been pretty much attached to the hip at her birth.

It seemed that he was wrong to hope that giving Lelouch some time to grieve alone would improve his emotional and mental inflictions, but apparently, some sort of intervention was to be required at this point in time. Thus, Schneizel was fully ready for his dual task of talking with his younger brother, and preparing him for whatever the Emperor wanted of him, even if Schneizel himself was somewhat uncertain about the latter.

He sighed quietly to himself. At times like this he wished that Kannon was here, but alas his aide and best friend had elected himself to wrapping up loose ends in New York City. He was a politician, for God's sake, not a mental councilor. Though perhaps he was merely over thinking things, that maybe Lelouch was actually fine. But still, to not initiate any contact _whatsoever_ with _Nunnally?_ That was a bit strange to say the least…

As his personal limousine came to a halt, so did his thoughts and Schneizel found himself staring up at the Aries Imperial Villa, residence of the vi Britannia branch of the imperial family, with a small amount of apprehension for some reason unknown to him.

Letting himself out, he waved absently to the entourage of guards that had poured out to greet him, quickly striding into the main foyer, towards the grand hall – the now infamous site of the murder of Marianne the Flash.

The first thing that came to mind as he entered the hall was, 'This place is _far_ too cheery.'

And indeed it was. There were no blood splotches anywhere on the carpeted stairs, nor were any broken pieces of glass from the gunned down windows, nor were there any bullet holes. There was nothing that even suggested such an event had actually taken place here at all. Adding its own flavor to the scene, the sun shined in merrily from outside, rays of light streaming in through pristine windows, casting a warm glow throughout the rather unnecessarily large hall.

If it were not for the gruesome photographs taken professionally by the investigation committee, then he would have never suspected that this place, this far too pleasant and cheerful place was the location of a murder of the imperial family. He fully understood _why_ the area had been scrubbed clean – after all, the death of royalty on your watch was a _particularly_ bad stigma on one's personal record – but he half-heatedly wished they hadn't been so bloody _quick_ about it.

He recalled that during their first conversation, Cornelia had told him that Lady Marianne – _Lady Marianne_ _herself_ of all people! – had expressly told her to call off the guard for the duration of that fateful night. Why had she done so? It was a well-known fact that the vi Britannia line had many political enemies, mainly stemming from the fact that Lady Marianne had been of humble commoner beginnings. Personally, Schneizel had not cared for that little tidbit of the woman's past, as she was a powerful warrior in her own right, and she was also very endearing once you looked past that – even convincing him that it was _prudent_ to call her 'Auntie'. Of course, there were others that would dispute that passionately, going so far as to say that she had sullied the royal blood of the family with her tainted commoner blood. Unknowingly echoing the thoughts of his sister, Schneizel sourly figured that it was a petty political ploy to gain more power and favor in the eyes of the Emperor by a jealous noble or rival branch of the family.

But even so, she had still called off her personal guard, and that was a major mistake. That was something that nobody in their right mind would have done, whether they were confident in their own combat skills or not. Narrowing his eyes at the stairs, Schneizel began to doubt his previous assessment. Highly improbable, though certainly plausible; perhaps…perhaps Lady Marianne had known about the assassination attempt? But that would be plain stupid to take down an assassin by herself, when she had been out of action ever since Lelouch was born. That was a long time for trusty skills to dull with age without practice, and he knew that Lady Marianne had kept up just enough to be in shape, although that too had also decreased when Nunnally had come into the picture.

Then maybe it was a ransom or threat of some sort? Heavens above knew that The Flash was fiercely protective of her children, especially after the incident with the Ganymede. She was making her way down to meet the 'negotiator' when the unimaginable strikes and she is metaphorically knifed in the back. He toyed with that idea for a second before dismissing it. No, Nunnally had been found underneath her, the poor thing shaking like a leaf caught up in a whirlwind, so that right there discounted that theory.

Reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose in consternation, Schneizel sighed. The whole event was completely shrouded in mystery. How…troublesome.

He was shaken out of his musings as fast paced steps echoed from the upper floors of the villa. Shouting accompanied the sound as well:

"COME BACK HERE YOU CHEEKY LITTLE BRAT!"

"MAKE ME, NELLY!"

"…WHAT THE _HELL_ DID YOU JUST CALL ME?"

"FOR PIZZA! …AND JUSTICE!"

Glancing around at the guards stationed around the grand hall, the Second Prince couldn't help but feel a little astonished at their totally underwhelming response to the currently ensuing racket.

"Hmm. Perchance, is this a normal occurrence around here nowadays?" Schneizel rhetorically asked himself.

He sighed and made his way up the stairs, deciding to investigate the current happenings. Idly, he noticed that he recognized two of the voices as Lelouch's and Cornelia's, respectively, but he didn't recognize the third person at all, although it was definitely a female. Intriguing.

It seemed that Lelouch was doing his best to infuriate as many women as possible…and where was Anya, for that matter? She had been relocated here just a few days prior to the whole mess, so she should still be here, right? Schneizel wondered.

The blonde received his answer as he turned to see little Anya Alstreim with an uncharacteristically stoic look on her face as she nonchalantly patted one of the royal guards on his thigh while he sobbed into his arm, the two of them walking towards his direction.

"It's all my fault!" the guard cried sadly, tears streaming down his face. "I was right there, but…but I failed and now the two of them are kidnapped!"

"There, there," the seven year old consoled the man with a voice to match her facial expression.

Schneizel, who was decidedly now a tad unnerved by the scene, cut in, "If I may be so bold, may I ask who exactly was kidnapped?"

The guard started at his voice, the owner of said voice, and immediately fell to his knees in a low bow. "P-P-PRINCE S-SCHNEIZEL!" he blubbered, "I beg for your forgiveness! It was I who foolishly allowed that green haired witch to kidnap Second Princess Cornelia and Eleventh Prince Lelouch!"

Schneizel only raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh, pray tell? They sounded perfectly safe and sound a few minutes ago."

The guard raised his head, staring at the Second Prince in hope. "T-They're all right?"

He nodded. "Indeed. Although, it seems that the Eleventh Prince has two angry women on his hands."

"Two women?" the guard inquired confusedly. "Could that green haired woman have an accomplice?"

Schneizel couldn't help but chuckle at the odd situation unfolding around him. "Little Lelouch has invoked the wrath of our dear sister Cornelia." Then he noticed Anya, missing the look of abject horror on Jeremiah Gottwald's face at that revelation. "Anya, what on earth are you doing on the floor like that? A lady should have better manners."

Anya cast him a dull look. "I was following Master Gottwald. Was I wrong?" she asked in a monotonous voice, tilting her head to the side in inquiry.

"…let's just get you up off the floor," he sighed.


	5. Omake!

**A/N:** No, it's not really an update. And no, I'm not dead. Not by a long shot. I blame college. So...many...essays... (T_T)

Anyways, I'm busy as fuck with my course workloads. Dunno when I'll update again so for now enjoy this - sorta late - little Thanksgiving present for you guys to prove I'm still kicking.

(PS: If you've read my other stories, you'd know that I did this trick there too, but I fully intend to follow through with this fic...eventually. If you're in college yourself, you know how it is.)

* * *

Omake! I

Jeremiah strolled casually into the room. "Your Majesty, I…"

He was cut off abruptly as a whip cracked him in the face seemingly out of nowhere. "_YEOW!_ What in Hades?"

"You fool!" a bluish-gray haired young woman seethed. "You are interrupting my meeting with Prince Lelouch!"

"Wha–? Buh–?" He spluttered for a minute before a scowl marred his face. "You harlot!" he shrieked angrily, pointing a damning finger at the newcomer. "How dare–!"

"'Harlot'?" she parroted. "You foolish fool of a fool!" the young woman growled, cutting him off and cracking her whip repeatedly on the teal-haired man. "How dare _you!_"

Lelouch palmed his face exasperatedly before regaining his composure.

"Jeremiah, meet Franziska von Karma," he explained patiently. "She is now a member of my Royal Guard."

The lump of flesh on the floor moaned in anguish.

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

Omake! II

Schneizel blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Are you…you know…" Lelouch made some vague hand gesture. "…like that?"

"I'm afraid that I've no idea what you're talking about."

Cornelia cut in rather bluntly, "Are you gay?"

The blonde looked taken aback. "What? What on earth are you talking about?" he asked – rather weakly in his siblings' opinion.

Cornelia and Lelouch exchanged meaningful glances with each other.

The younger prince reached up and patted his older brother on the shoulder. "It's okay to deny it all you want, but just know that we support you," he said sincerely.

"If it helps, I think you would look pretty in a dress," the purple-haired Witch of Britannia opined with an honest smile.

Schneizel merely looked at the duo, completely baffled. "I'm not gay!" he exclaimed, unnerved as to what his brother and sister had 'realized'. Really, he wasn't! Whatever gave them that impression of him?

Unfortunately, they ignored him and addressed each other. "You know," Lelouch started, eying Schneizel up and down, "I think white and blue suits him."

Cornelia made the same assessment. "Hmm… Yes, you're right, Lelouch," she agreed. "But maybe some gold would go well with that," she added, tapping her chin in thought.

Lelouch nodded seriously. "Then we should get started. I'll call the royal tailor; can you contact the Textiles and Fabrics Department? We'll need to see which materials would be the most suitable for the dresses."

"Absolutely. Go on ahead, first I have to measure Schneizel," Cornelia stated, staring said man down with a look that challenged him to defy her.

Schneizel was a dead man.

If he knew how this…_image_ of him being homosexual had anything to do with the more gossip-minded members of the royal family – present company excluded, because he knew that the two really didn't give a damn about gossip, _except_ when it came to this apparently – he would hunt them down and probably not kill them, but rather maim them. He was, after all, humane.

Of course, that would happen provided that he survived this incident. That wasn't very reassuring, and to make matters worse, Lelouch was now gone, leaving him alone with Cornelia who had a certain gleam in her eyes and – where did she get that tape measure from?

"Now just stand still…"

"Oh, bloody hell."


	6. Chapter 5

"LELOUCH YOU LITTLE SH–"

"Shall we get going now?" Schneizel uttered, smoothly covering up his sister's colorful choice of vocabulary for Anya's sake.

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU–"

Jeremiah gave a sideways glance down towards his young tag-along. "That…may be the wisest course of action, Your Highness."

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

After a long and harrowing exercise in futility, Lelouch was finally captured.

Schneizel and company caught up with the elusive trio just in time to see something that was absolutely horrific – for Lelouch at any rate.

"One lump or two?" the young lad inquired with an obviously fake smile…dressed as a maid of all things. He was serving Cornelia and the mysterious green-haired girl tea – and PIZZA! – for what seemed to be an elaborate, absolutely un-Cornelia-ish tea party. The two females were seated across from each other at a lavishly decorated table, with several large pans of pizza and other such foods scattered about and two tea kettles, steam piping up from their spouts.

"Just the one, please," Cornelia replied with a smile so sweet that it would most likely rot one's teeth.

"Five for me, please," the girl answered, holding her teacup in the air, a shit-eating grin on her face as well.

For once in his life, the blonde was at a loss for words.

From behind the Second Prince, Jeremiah was openly gawking and Anya, well, she was just staring blankly at the scene.

Cornelia was the first to notice their captive audience. "Ah, Schneizel!" she crowed, rising from her seat to peck her brother on the cheek. "Welcome to the Aries Villa! This is Miss Catherine Celeste, though she prefers to be known as C.C.," she added, gesturing to her new friend who was munching away happily on Pizza, though she spared a waved to Schneizel. "And this is our little maid, Lulu! Isn't she the cutest?" Cornelia finished, smiling a tad too wide, as she pushed Lelouch towards their older brother.

'Lulu' forced a smile onto 'her' face, giving a surprisingly convincing curtsey. "Welcome, Master Schneizel."

Schneizel palmed his face while Jeremiah choked, pointing wildly at the scene – Anya dutifully copying him with a stoic face.

"What on earth has been going on in the place?" Schneizel muttered.

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

"So His Majesty wants to see Lelouch?" Cornelia summed up a boring exposition scene from Schneizel about an hour after the 'festivities' had ended.

"Yes, though I am unsure as to the reason, I'll admit," Schneizel nodded with a small frown.

The two of them glance over to Lelouch, who was titling his head in curiosity at the sight of Jeremiah being trapped in a headlock by Catherine, or rather C.C., with Anya miming Lelouch's actions instead of the blue-haired guard for a change.

"I do have an inking, however," Schneizel added a minute afterwards, speaking low so as to not be overheard by their companions. "His Majesty may have caught wind of our conversations, dear sister, and decided to handle the situation personally."

Cornelia raised an eyebrow. "Is that so. And what makes you come to the conclusion, brother?"

The blonde lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. "Lady…_Auntie_ Marianne was his favorite," he said simply.

"Ah. I see." And she really did. Whereas most of the other Royal Consorts – at times, even their own mothers – were, for lack of a better term, stuck up, pompous bitches that both of them had the occasional displeasure of dealing with, Marianne, perhaps due to her commoner origins, had always seemed to somehow bring out the 'good' side of the Emperor. If one called being slightly less of a callous bastard a 'good' side.

Now that Marianne wasn't…around anymore to calm the Emperor down, and the fact that he wanted to see Lelouch… That, combined with the fact that their empire favored the strong made the implications unpleasant. Lelouch wasn't exactly sound of mind the past events of the day had proved. As much as she loved her little brother, she wasn't entirely confident that he could handle this upcoming meeting.

"This does not bode well…" Cornelia murmured with a grimace. "Schneizel," she implored after a few agonizing minutes of silence between them, "is there anything we can do for Lelouch?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid that all we can do is give him a bit of advice, and then face the aftermath of this upcoming event."

The purple-haired princess hung her head and sighed. "Damnation… I suppose we'll just have to grin and bear it. And pray for the best for Lelouch."

Almost instinctively, they turned their heads over to Lelouch, who was now riding on a crawling Jeremiah's back. C.C. was failing in holding back her amused snickers and Anya had somehow procured a camera and was taking pictures.

Cornelia snorted. "But I suppose that praying for the best is a bit too much to ask for at this point in time," she amended sardonically.

Schneizel sighed exasperatedly. "Oh dear."

* * *

**A/N:** It's kind of hard to write humor when a dear friend of yours breaks down, having what was essentially was a midlife crisis, and then tries to commit suicide. As morbid as it sounds, I'm completely surprised he survived at all; I was told he downed a very potent poison. He's getting better – full counselling and emotional support from me and his girlfriend – but holy shit these past couple of months have been really turbulent emotionally.

…I apologize for my morbid anecdote there. Ugh, I though this was a humor fic.

Anyways, to be honest, in my own opinion this chapter doesn't really feel like it belongs to the story at all, but after such a long hiatus it's hard getting back into the groove of this fic.

As usual all feedback would be appreciated as I try and get my muse back.


	7. Another Omake!

Omake! III

Lelouch quirked an eyebrow as he took in the odd man in front of him. Jeremiah, his staunch bodyguard and overly zealous knight, steadfastly looked everywhere but the man.

Indeed, he was an odd, almost elderly fellow dressed in what could only be described as a purple one piece…robe of some sort, with the purple cloth connected to an odd W-shaped vest or something, and an odd glass helmet around his head. It was of note that his outfit, specifically the W-shape, did not cover his naked upper chest.

His assistant was fairly tamer in appearance, bearing a standard white lab coat and yellow protective goggles. His flaming orange hair, however, looked like frozen fire.

"GENTLEMEN!" the first fellow shouted in obvious glee, even though there were only the four of them in the room. "BEHOLD!"

Lelouch cleared his throat. "Ehm, Dr. Weird, first I'd like you to explain just exactly my brother Clovis had you working on." It was a bit odd that Schneizel had sent him on this odd errand on Clovis's behalf. But then again, Lelouch was the closest to the New Jersey area than Clovis, who was still in Area 11, or Schneizel who was in Pendragon.

The assistant, Steve was name Lelouch thought, addressed him. "Well, Prince Clovis assigned Dr. Weird and myself on…" He tugged on his collar a bit in embarrassment. "On Project Erasure."

"And what exactly is this 'Project Erasure'?" Lelouch asked, slightly impatient now.

Steve tugged at his collar again. "Well…"

Once explanations were given and Project Erasure exposed, Lelouch laughed hysterically and immediately ordered Jeremiah to send a platoon's worth of the machines to reinforce Cornelia's regiment in the Middle East.

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

Cornelia stared dully.

Darlton, who was behind her, cleared his throat. "It is certainly…an interesting machine, Your Highness."

Guilford didn't bother with tact and simply facepalmed.

The Witch of Britannia clenched her fists and snarled. "I am going to _murder_ Lelouch!"

She eyed the machines in utter distaste. "He _knows_ I hate bloody unicorns…" she muttered almost childishly.

**XXXXX-XXXXX**

In the months and years to come, the conquered survivors of the newly established Area 18 would be inordinately afraid of That-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Spoken-Of.

Namely, unicorns.

Yes unicorns.

The mad Dr. Weird had created an offshoot quadruped Knightmare Frame under Project Erasure on the directive of Prince Clovis la Britannia, and the Knightmare Frames were given the okay by Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, which were then mass-produced and shipped to Princess Cornelia li Britannia during her conquest of the Middle East.

For some odd reason, the new quadruped Knightmares were literally robotic mares. With drills on their equine 'heads'. And they worked.

Much to Cornelia's embarrassment, some of her men took to playing a certain song during their operation of the new Frame, and she became so annoyed she banned it from being played in her presence.

Lelouch got wind of this little tidbit of information, and when Cornelia entered her guest room in the Aries Villa some time later, her most hated song blasted through hidden speakers.

_**ALWAYS**_

_**I WANNA BE WITH YOU**_

_**AND MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU**_

_**AND LIVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY, OH LOVE~**_

"LELOUCH! I'M GOING TO _KILL_ YOU!"

* * *

**A/N:** Greetings! Unfortunately, this is not an update. Fortunately, this is a sign that my muse is slowly coming back and that Chapter 6 is about roughly half-finished. Yes, you read that right. No, the cake is not a lie.

The idea came to me as I was re-watching season 1 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force in a bout of boredom during a rainy day. Then I played Robot Unicorn Attack (regular version). Afterwards I typed this quick omake up within thirty minutes while the strange combination was in my mind.

I thought you guys would enjoy this while I try to work out Chapter 6. I suppose you could say it's like a glimpse into one of Lelouch's 'other' lives.

P.S. I thank you for all your support for me and my friend. The situation's still a bit iffy, but better overall in my opinion.


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